Alternate title: Navigating Relationships Later In Life

Romantic relationships are always complicated; that’s why there are so many songs, movies, and TV shows that focus on the various ways in which they can break down or go wrong. However, it’s fair to say that real-life relationships can be even more complicated and confusing - especially if you are returning to the dating game in later life.

J and I met when we were 29. I wish we could have met earlier, sparing me from heartaches and awful dates, but I guess it was perfect timing as well, since we were both mature enough already to handle our relationship at the same time allowing us space to grow together. Time flies, and we're celebrating our sixth anniversary next month! 

I remember what it was like being single and wishing for someone to love and love me in return. Heck, I was single for seven years before I met J. Love knows no age, though, but we can all use a little help. So with that in mind, here are some tools that can guide you navigate the world of dating when you are a little older than your average single.

Ensure you’re ready to put yourself out there. Whether you have dealt with a terrible breakup, a bereavement, or even a separation or divorce, you mustn’t put yourself out there before you are emotionally ready. While the prospect of a new relationship may seem exciting (especially if you are lacking companionship), you’ll only hurt yourself further down the line by jumping in too soon. Before dating, you might want to ask yourself these questions:

• Am I able to love myself as I am?
• What am I looking for in a relationship?
• What kind of person do I want to date?
• What happens if this relationship does not break down?

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Before heading on a date, it’s okay to feel a little nervous. After all, you’ll want to make a good impression on the person you’re with so that you could potentially see each other again. However, it’s important to remember that some things are beyond our control - and you cannot force a connection with another person. Instead of trying to present yourself as their ideal date - focus on showing them who you really are. Being yourself is the easiest way to make a lasting, genuine connection with another person.

Find new ways to boost your confidence. If you haven’t been part of the romantic scene for a while, you may feel as though you have entered a whole new world (especially when it comes to online dating). However, it’s important to remember that dating is pretty much the same as it has always been - and if you maintain a positive outlook, you have nothing to worry about. Nevertheless, you should find a variety of ways to boost your confidence ahead of time so that you can push away any feelings of stress and anxiety. This can be achieved by:

• Not jumping from one relationship to the next, giving yourself the break you need to get to know yourself and understand your needs.
• Knowing your worth and what you require from a partner. Refusing to compromise your standards.
• Taking steps to improve your physical health, meaning that you will naturally feel healthier and more confident. For example, you could try to complete some workouts at home, using natural supplements to maximize the results. You can find out more about how they work for you here.
• Visiting a life coach, gaining advice on how to naturally boost your confidence and feelings of self-worth. 
• Reciting affirmations in the mirror or as you are getting ready to go out. Focus on things you like about yourself - whether that relates to your sense of humor or your smile.  

Speaking of being a little bit older than your average single, Mina V. Esguerra released a new book this weekend with a 41-year old Main Character, Totally Engaged!

Rose Alban, 41, has been happily living alone and single in Manila. When her entire family moved to the US she became responsible for their house and since then she's transformed it into her home, her sanctuary, and base for a new and more fulfilling career. She was even able to convert the garage into a studio apartment, that she's now renting out to her friend's brother Pascal Cortes, 39, former MBA professor who's now heading operations at an exciting education startup at a nearby business district. 

That's not enough for her mother and well-meaning relatives, who want nothing more than to see her join them in the US by any means necessary. When they surprise her with a visit, Rose knows the only way they'll finally stop plotting to get her a green card is if they see her settled down—so of course she asks the hot prof next door to pretend to be her fiancé.

I love my Kindle Paperwhite so much, but today I downloaded the Kindle app for the iPad and gosh, it made me appreciate the covers so much more! Flexing my copies of the book here on my iPad and Kindle before I reading it tonight. Grab your Kindle copy on Amazon, or contact Mina for a print edition of the book!

If you're still trying to find Love out there,  cliché, I know, but I truly believe things unfold when they are meant to. Good luck! 

Traveling is a wonderful way to recuperate from life’s stresses as well as seeing breathtaking views around the world. It's also one of the best ways to determine if you and your Significant Other are a great match. If both of you stick it out despite being in an unfamiliar territory, then it is safe to say that it's for keeps. With J, that's how I knew. :) It sucks that it has been more than a year since we went to a new place together, but at least I see him every day now.

Anyway, if you're like me who lives in a country where the government still doesn't have a plan to beat the pandemic, it is very unlikely that you’ve travelled far from your front door, let alone taken a plane to a new and exotic place to relax and explore. Now that restrictions are beginning to ease for other countries due to the vaccine rolling out, you might be planning a year-long trip to explore the world, like my friend Ed who moved across oceans to be with this True Love. If so, don’t forget these things if you’re planning to spend the year traveling as far away from home as possible.

International bank account

Traveling for a year is very different from taking a two-week holiday. Usually, you’d prepare your spending money and convert it into the currency before traveling. However, if you plan on moving between countries it’s very likely you’ll need different currencies and your current bank account may not allow you to use your card abroad. However, using a bank like Revolut will allow you to use your card in many countries without any questions being raised and without hefty charges to your account.

Virtual address

You’ll get mail when you’re traveling, and if you’ve moved all of your belongings into storage to save on rent payments for an empty property, you’ll need somewhere for your post to reside. Using a virtual address like those provided by http://physicaladdress.com allows you to still receive your post and check it online any time you like.

Working visas

Tourist and working holiday visas must be applied for. Check with individual country embassies for details about how far ahead of time they should be purchased and how long they will last so you’re able to stay and work legally in the country. This is especially important if you plan on spending a summer working in a particular place. Check now so you’re not left with no other option and no way of making more money during your travels.

Healthcare

Have you checked to see if you need any vaccines for your travels? Many countries pose dangers that you might not be aware of. For example, the majority of cholera cases occur in areas with inadequate sanitation and water hygiene, such as parts of South and Southeast Asia, Sub-Saharan Africa, Central America, the Middle East, and the Caribbean and if you’re not vaccinated you could become very unwell. Speak to a pharmacist or Doctor for more advice before traveling.

Prepare yourself for a culture shock

Finally, preparing yourself for how different cultures live will help not only prevent a nasty shock upon arrival, but also help you learn more about their religions, culture and customs. Doing this will make you more welcome in the country as well as feeling like you’re also a part of this new culture. Most of all, after being locked down for so long, take plenty of pictures and enjoy the freedom of being able to explore our beautiful planet once more.  

Since I am not able to travel yet, I amuse myself with other ways, like my hobbies.

My current object of fascination is my new carnivorous plant, the Byblis Guehoi.

Ladies and gents, I'd like you to meet Carny. I even bought her distilled water. What a baby!

I just got her today, and I am so amazed! I've been wanting to get carnivorous plants for a while now and I'm so happy my balcony finally has one!

Do you see the bodies of flies, bugs, and mosquitoes? Amazing!

I also stress-bought plants again.

At the rate things are going, I will end up with a forest before the year is over. Send help.

Keep safe, friends! I can't wait to fill my blog with new anecdotes about new places I've been to. 

I am at the stage of my life when I do not want to complicate things anymore, so I look for simple, easy, no-frills products to use while staying at home and riding this pandemic out. 

My bathroom shelf-ie

Since the weather has been testing my patience lately with how hot and humid it is, I look forward to bath times the most. I still shampoo every other day and condition every day, but I keep my hair soft and manageable with these habits:

Look for natural ingredients

We choose healthy meal recipes to make sure we can fuel the body with all the right nutrients. So why don’t we apply the same principle to our hair health? Ultimately, the hair needs nourishment. Some ingredients may be too harsh for the hair and scalp, so why not consider DIY homemade shampoo recipes that can support your hair health while keeping it nourished? Coconut milk is loaded with vitamins that help improve both scalp health and hair, while olive oil is one of the best-kept secrets for hair growth as it can boost the formation of new hair follicles.

Cleanse your scalp

You can’t think of healthy hair without considering your scalp hair. We tend to accumulate scalp buildup through hair styling products or even not rinsing your hair long enough. Dry shampoos are also a big culprit behind scalp buildup. Unfortunately, buildups are not also visible. So you may only experience some itchiness or slow hair growth but nothing that truly hints at scalp issues. Ideally, a clarifying shampoo once every other week is good practice to cleanse your scalp. You can also rinse your hair with a mixture of 4-to-1 water to apple cider vinegar, which cleanses the remaining buildup and restore hair health. You may want to consider the purchase of a scalp brush that can help distribute shampoo while clearing the scalp.

Take supplements/ specialist vitamins

Hair vitamins are some of the best gifts you could give your hair because even with a healthy diet, it can be tricky to get all the vitamins you need. Biotin is a must-have for healthy hair as it supports a natural shine and glossiness. Biotin is also a natural skin rejuvenator, so it’s not only good for your hair! Some of the alarming signs of biotin deficiency can be scaly scalp skin and hair loss. Every person losses between 50 and 100 hair every day, so there is an average amount of hair loss that will not be prevented with biotin.

Haircare habits

Lastly, you may want to change some of your everyday habits. Did you know, for instance, that your pillowcase could accentuate frizziness? Silk pillowcases can prevent frizzy or tangled hair in the morning. It’s also a savior for people with curly and textured hair! I got silk pillowcases from Shopee and not only are they good for the hair, they're also delicate for the skin.

From hair vitamins to natural hair products, there’s so much you can do to boost your mane. Hope you learned something today for glossy, soft, and strong summer hair! :)

Seeing the title, I know, right?? Not me talking about sticking to a new hobby for a little longer, seeing as how I am a serial hobbyist myself, haha! But, yes! Let's talk about hobbies! If there’s one thing the pandemic has taught us is that hobbies are great to keep us centered, focused, and happy. Hobbies are wonderful in many ways. I am happiest when I make, and it is always a joy to learn something new and create something. Whether you are knitting, drawing, painting, or simply filling a personal planner, hobbies are like little anchors in the tumultuous sea of life. They keep us sane. I know this for a fact because these are the few things giving me joy at this time.

Just look at these beautiful colors! My kind of eye candy :)

The thing is, some people can stick to the same hobbies for a lifetime. Others, like me, tend to treat hobbies like butterflies' flowers. They hop from one to another, never quite sticking with anything long enough to become a master. It’s not that they lose interest. It’s quite the opposite, in fact. They have too much joy, interest, and curiosity that it’s really hard to do only one thing at a time. There is so much to discover! Does it sound familiar? If that’s you, be assured that you are not on your own. A lot of people are hobby butterflies, nibbling at everything as they explore life. There’s genuinely nothing wrong with that. But it can be frustrating as you commit to a new hobby only to discover something new and lose interest. Why is it that your mind can’t focus on one thing and stick with it?

Turn hobbies into useful skills

The truth is that your mind still focuses on one thing at a time and learns the basics of it. So, while it might feel like you are frolicking in a field of hobbies, you are, in fact, picking some skills on the way. Granted, you are not the yoga master or expert knitters you thought you’d become. But you’ve now got all the equipment and knowledge you need to indulge whenever you need to. Unfinished hobbies are a treasure box of useful skills, such as these ninja foodi recipes from GrillingMontana.com that you learned when you fancied yourself a chef. All the things you’ve learned are safely stored at the back of your mind, ready to pop up when you need to prepare a meal, do a quick yoga workout or surprise a pregnant friend with a knitted baby hat. 

I used to think I didn't have my Mom's green thumb, but look at my beautiful plants now :,)

Monetize your hobbies

How about finding new value in your old hobbies? Perhaps knowing how to knit can be the start of profitable side hustle on Etsy? Monetizing your hobbies adds a new perspective to crafting. You are more likely to stick to hobbies and develop your skills if you have an incentive to carry on. What better incentive as someone ordering cute knitted baby boots from your Etsy shop? You may not become rich overnight, but you can undoubtedly find the motivation to stay focused.

My next thing is learning digital art with the new iPad J gave me

Share it with friends

Sometimes, all we need is to be accountable for the promise we make ourselves. Where is the novella you promised yourself you’d write or the hand-sewn dress you wanted to make? Sharing hobbies with friends can help make you more accountable for your decisions. They can get excited when you’ve lost interest or simply remind you of the dreams you had. Sharing a project, for instance, such as hand-sewing your friend’s summer outfit while she does yours, is a great plan to keep with your hobbies.

My friends do not play Animal Crossing any more, but I still play every day. Nonetheless, I share images like this to my social media followers every now and then because it's beautiful and comforting.

The bottom line: Everybody is different. Some like to dig deeper into a specific hobby until they’ve become a true master, while others like to experiment with many different things. If you’re a butterfly hobbyist like me, you can find a way to make peace with your crafting approach! 

Hello, friends! i would need you to recommend your favorite iPad apps to me (aside from Procreate that I have already purchased), because you are looking at a first time owner of an iPad. Hah. It's the 8th Gen version, and I've been loving it so far!

It was a surprise from my boyfriend, whose employer gave away iPads to everyone in the company. Because he recently got an iPad Air, he gave me the new one that just arrived! You best believe how my eyes widened at this windfall!

It's my first time to own one as I never really found the need to have one since I have a laptop, two mobile phones, a Kindle Paperwhite, and a Nintendo Switch Lite for both work and recreational purposes.

Welp, I just realized both my Kindle Paperwhite and Nintendo Switch Lite also came from J.

So, yes, any recommendations? :)