What is one thing you purchased that made you feel like such a grownup?
For me, (aside from my Instant Pot and other appliances and furniture for my new home) it would have to be art.
The teasers alone made me catch my breath. When the artist Renztelle posted the whole thing, I couldn't stop staring at it so I took it as a sign that maybe I should get it. I teared up while leaving a comment to reserve it, and I teared up again while unwrapping it.
This piece is named Freedom, and it really is so beautiful.
I love the colors and the feelings it makes me feel. There are times I still couldn't stop staring at it, even when I have had it for more than a month now.
I'd been undecided where to put it so I sought the help of my friends and social media followers. The choices were:
My desk so I could glance at it and let it inspire me when I working
Against the yellow accent wall of my bedroon
Or against the sea foam green accent wall of my living room
In the end, we hung it against the white wall in the living room, in the corner where I propped my rocking char that is J's birthday gift to me.
Freedom is home, and it looks and feels great.
Aside from the digital artworks I commissioned, this is the first art I have ever purchased. Happy 35th birthday to me. ♡
When it comes to building our lives, prioritizing what’s good, and doing our best to be responsible, we slowly cultivate our meaning and purpose in lives. It’s important to remember that often, this is a learning process. Building a family, starting a career, or struggling to balance both is always going to be replete with mistakes, but over time you learn from them and become more competent as a result.
It’s very commonplace for modern self-help culture and social media inspirational accounts to try and convince us that perfection is not only possible, but it’s desirable. That can be quite damaging to our motivation, because internally, deep-down, we know perfection is impossible, and even if it does exist how much of it we force into being is questionable.
For this reason, in order to counter these narratives and to help us avoid making a great situation artificially ‘better’ without considering the structures we have already built, here are reasons why chasing perfection is one of the worst things you can aspire to.
Perfection Stops You From Being Great
Perfection prevents us from finding everything that’s good about ourselves and what we may wish to improve upon, because when we only consider perfection an acceptable standard, we ignore everything good that has happened trying to attain it.
For instance, consider someone who is defined as being morbidly obese. They know they need to make a change, and unfortunately, it’s taken them some time to come to that conclusion. Never mind, the best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, the second best time is today. So, they begin to lose weight, slowly but surely. They try their best, sometimes having hard days, and sometimes skipping the gym, but largely they find their consistency and learn a new, better normal. They transition from being morbidly obese to becoming on the cusp of being defined as obese.
In a perfect world, with perfect decisions, and the ability to change their actions by rewinding the clock, they may have never gotten to this point. Yet is there anything we shouldn’t celebrate in transitioning from morbidly obese to obese? From putting in those habits that will last a lifetime, and from learning something new about ourselves despite that harsh difficulty needed to get there? Absolutely not. What they have done is fantastic - even if it’s not perfect. If they chastise themselves for getting into this situation in the first place, they rob themselves of their very worthwhile achievement. Then, they’re more likely to subvert that meaning they’ve been living by and put the weight back on again. So, often, the idea of perfection prevents you from feeling inspired and doing what you can. And despite the demands of perfection, all we can do is what we can.
Perfection Pretends Mistakes Aren’t Useful
Mistakes are essential steps on anyone’s journey, and it’s no failing in a human being to make them. Wailfully making them repeatedly is inadvisable of course, and the more you do that recklessly, the more intense the consequences become. That said, perfection pretends that mistakes aren’t useful, and that’s never a useful idea, either.
Instead of feeling ashamed about our mistakes, why don’t we think more fondly of them? Consider them as friends we can learn from, perhaps those that come to us through harsh realization or consequence instead of direct foresight. This way, the next time we make a mistake, we can feel more competent about it and remain interested in what its resolution or lesson could be. If we focus on perfection in life, we never ameliorate that process, we just stay stuck in what should have happened rather than what has.
Perfection Holds You To An Unnecessary Standard
Unnecessary standards are everywhere in life. Young students might chastise themselves or feel their career is over before it’s gotten started simply because they’ve been accepted into the third best university instead of their first choice. In this case, we can remove all of the positives that we may otherwise be in for, as being educated in our future career is something to look forward to in itself.
Some people might think that starting to order hair loss treatment online is an indicator of their age, a condition they weren’t happy to gain, or something that denotes their youth is over. That’s not true, as beauty standards need not be applied so fervently, and treatments to help your condition exist. Even then, beautiful wigs can be worn, or a shaved style may suit you, or rendering your self-image out of the bounds of your preconceived notion of perfection can help you unlock your confidence through and through, too. This perspective and attitude shift can work true wonders.
Perfection Makes You Less Empathetic
Perfection can make us feel less empathetic about others. Let’s use our example of the person suffering from obesity who may be trying to make life changes. A person who is otherwise fit and healthy may be on the street and see such a person walking past them. In their judgemental moment, they may think ‘what a fool, if only they knew how they were harming themselves!’ Their perception of perfection, even if they don’t meet it, is externalized and used to alienate ourselves from other people and the difficulties they may suffer, of which we have zero real context to understand.
Yet that same person may see that same fellow in the gym that night, trying to work out, and immediately gain full respect for them. Sure, there’s more reason for that respect on the surface, but it’s important to remember that the standards of perfection are still not being met in that sense, yet respect is being shown. Why is this? Because often, we can more easily see how toxic perfection is if it’s being counteracted by something good, instead of something seemingly unhelpful. As you can see - goodness, courage and attempting to be better will always outperform perfection, and internalizing that lesson can help us feel much less reflexively judgmental.
With this advice, we hope you can feel more confident in becoming better than perfect - and that simply means becoming good, in what relative terms you find important to define.
If you’re looking to take a relationship to the next, more serious stage, then you need to make sure that everyone is well and truly committed. You need to be able to trust your partner. However, if they’ve made mistakes in the past, how can you rebuild that trust? There’s no set answer that will solve the problem for everyone, but there are a few things that you can try.
Decide to forgive
Forgiveness can be harder to give than you might think. Not only can it be emotionally demanding to let go of hurt. It can also feel like you’re doing your partner a favor or kindness that you’re not sure they deserve. What’s more, it can feel like you’re letting go of some kind of leverage. However, these are unhealthy things to hold onto in a relationship. Taking the step to actively forgive, as shown here, is important. It doesn’t mean a totally clean slate or that you forget. But it does move things onto a stage where you can start rebuilding.
Require proof
If your partner has gone behind your back before, then the presumption of innocence isn’t always the best presumption to make. You don’t have to assume they act with guilt, but they should be open to being more accountable. If they’ve sent some dodgy texts in the past, then you might want to look at this page to make sure that they’re doing the same things again. You don’t want to get too used to or reliant on having to check your partner for proof they’re behaving as it can lead to paranoia in the long-term, but it’s important that they’re willing to be that open and accountable.
Demand change
Accepting that your partner can change and hold themselves more responsible is a good thing. However, it doesn’t mean you should play dumb to the risks that led to them letting you down in the first place. If your partner tripped up when they went out socializing with certain friends and those friends did nothing to stop them or notify you, it’s not unfair to think those friends are a bad influence. Understanding the triggers of infidelity can help you prevent it.
Accept responsibility
If anyone ever claims that a partner forced them to cheat, then they are lying and avoiding responsibility. However, that doesn’t mean that both partners aren’t, at least in some part, responsible for how their relationship goes. If you accept that your partner is a good person and isn’t an active cheat, then you have to look at what in the relationship contributed to them going down that path in the first place. This may mean having to look at your own behaviors or pressures, too.
Trust is, undeniably, one of those things that is difficult to put back together once it has been broken. But it’s not impossible. People do learn to trust those who have let them down before. Hopefully, the tips above might help you do the same.
HOWEVER, you can always cut your losses and move on.
There was a time in my life when.I was positive I would never find love again. Being cheated on took a toll on my self esteem and I never thought I would be able to recover. I was okay with being single, although it did get lonely sometimes. Seven years later, a little after my 29th birthday, I met J and, whoa. Almost six years together and I still feel the luckiest.
I really didn't think it would be possible to be loved this way. :)
The Krissy from 2010 feels like a different person now, like I don't know her anymore. I wish I could talk to her though and assure her it would be okay.
So, yes, trust is a delicate thing that is extremely hard to give again, so be careful who you entrust your heart to. I do hope it's worth it.
Take care of your hearts!
Towards the end of February I attended a special bloggers' event via Zoom about Wolvit Biotin. I like events like this because aside from being able to interact with other people from the comforts of my home (although I really, really miss going out), I also get to learn a lot! A guest dermatologist, Dr. Angela Tomacruz-Cumagun, called in and discussed facts about and causes of as well as ways to treat it.
I have been taking Wolvit Biotin every day for more than a month now, and here is my review.
Having a healthy amount of biotin is associated with having glossy hair, glowing skin, and sturdy and beautiful nails. Because of its benefits, Biotin is usually regarded as Vitamin H. If you are not getting enough biotin, you may experience hair loss, scaly red skin rashes, and/ or brittle nails.
Wolvit (Biotin 5mg) is a B-vitamin supplement that promises to rejuvenate the skin by hydrating and moisturizing it from within, strengthen hair shaft and restore hair texture, and help thicken nail cuticles and prevent breakage. It is advisable for adult men and women.
I have thick hair but the amount of fallen hair that I see when I vacuum is a bit concerning. I think I need a hair cut since my hair might be too heavy for my scalp already, but I am too scared to go out and visit a salon because of the rising Covid-19 cases. It has been a year since my Mom cut my hair and because I moved out last January, there's no one to do it for me here and I'm still collating the courage to do it myself.
Another problem I've been having is the insistence of gray/ white hairs to show up. I'm always reminded of that scene in Sex and the City when Samantha said that when you take one out, another ten attends its funeral. I actually asked Dr. Angela if Wolvit Biotin will help my premature gray hair, but sadly she said no, it will not. My only hope is that if it helps lessen my hair fall, then a new gray hair will not grow on its place.
I looked forward to seeing the results but since I've only been taking it for a month, it is understandable that I will not see visible results yet ALTHOUGH these days I do not need to vacuum as much, so I think it helped contribute to that. I am very happy to report to you though, dear reader, that my nails are so much stronger now and they do not chip anymore!
The biggest proof that it worked for me is when I had a mini accident about two weeks ago --- I was trying to open an air-tight container and my fingers slipped. I shrieked in pain as it hurt so much, dreading to look at my fingernails because I was positive it had split. True enough, the side of my index finger where the nail meets the finger was bleeding, but my finger nail was intact! It did not split at all even when it received the brunt of the impact!
This gave me the confidence to wear nail polish again. I like seeing pretty colors when I tap tap tap on my keyboard, but seeing chipped and broken nails immediately after applying nail polish is disheartening. Now that I do not have brittle nails anymore, I went ahead and bought new nail polish bottles!
Now you’re probably already getting the daily recommended amount of biotin from the food you eat like meat and poultry, fish like salmon and tuna, dairy, fruits and vegetables, grains, and whole wheat, but if you’d like to increase your intake, you can add more biotin-rich foods into your diet OR you can take over-the-counter biotin supplements like Wolvit (Biotin 5 mg). Take at least one or two tablets of 5,000 micrograms a day (5 mg) every day before a meal.
Wolvit Biotin is unlikely to cause side effects and is generally safe for pregnant and lactating moms and those with hypertension or diabetes, but caution must be applied. Please consult with your doctor first before taking any kind of supplement.
However, if you are experiencing more severe hair loss, male pattern baldness, or alopecia, it is recommended that you see your doctor first so they can diagnose the root causes properly and give you the treatment you need.
Wolvit (Biotin 5mg) is at P225 for a of 30 and you can find it at pharmacy counters of Mercury Drug, Watsons, Southstar Drug, St. Joseph, Curamed, St Joseph, All Day Rx, Sure Rx, and other leading drugstores nationwide. If you do not want to go out, you can also buy online via Watsons Online Store, Mercury Drug Gamot Padala, Southstar Drug Online, or have them delivered via Lazada or Shopee. Alternatively you may also call for delivery through their retail partner (02)86314242 for home delivery. Contact Anne at 0917-5561407 / 0922-8552936 or Glyza at 0917-8392008 From 7am to 4pm/ Mondays to Fridays (Orders can be made through COD or bank deposit).
As for me I will continue taking Wolvit Biotin every day. I haven't accepted my graying hair completely yet, but one of these days I'll get there. :)
One of the things I am most excited about moving to this new place is my spacious balcony. I have already filled a quarter of it with plants, while I am hoping to also utilize some of the space for working out. I brought my yoga mat here and bought a new set of skipping ropes, I just really need to make time for it.
Along with these workout items, I also took my workout wardrobe out from storage. If you are looking to refresh your workout wardrobe in time for the summer, you may see suggestions below.
SPORTS BRA
When you're running, training, or doing yoga poses your chest can get in the way. In some cases this is nothing more than a minor distraction but it can start to hurt, especially if you're jogging, running, or playing a contact sport. This is why you need one or two sports bras in your workout wardrobe. They keep your chest flat and under control during sporting activities and allow you to concentrate on your performance. Don't be without this essential item. Sports bras also make excellent pambahay clothes especially when it's extra hot and humid.
LEGGINGS WITH POCKETS
Leggings are perfect for all kinds of workout activities. They fit snuggly to your legs and give you a wide range of movement and plenty of options for flexibility. The trouble is they don't have any pockets which can be inconvenient. When you go for a run or an outdoor yoga session there is nowhere to store your media device or earphones. However, if you include some leggings with pockets in your workout wardrobe you can still listen to podcasts or yoga workout routines on the go.
WOMAN'S TREE RUNNERS
This summer you need a pair of light breathable training shoes in your workout wardrobe. However, you also want a pair that are cruelty free and ethically produced. There is no longer any excuse not to go for a pair of cruelty free training shoes. The Woman's Tree Runners from Allbird get it right when it comes to integrating the requirements of a modern running shoe. These shoes are made from tree fibers and are ethically produced. They are light, breathable and feel more like socks.
BACKLESS TOPS
Backless tops are usually made from light cotton. They have a wide neckline and a U-shaped bare back that's usually decorated with lace or ties. Backless tops make excellent workout gear, especially for yoga and strength training. The reason you want some Backless tops in your workout wardrobe is because of what they can offer. These tops are light and flexible, they give you a good range of motion and keep you cool which complements your workout and boosts your performance.
LOOSE YOGA PANTS
When it comes to yoga pants you have two options, you can have tight ones or loose ones. Both have pros and cons and in the end it comes down to preference, but loose yoga pants give you an added option in your workout wardrobe. If its a very hot day and you have a workout scheduled you might want to opt for pants that are a bit looser and more breathable. That's where the loose yoga pants come in. They are super easy to wear and train in and they cool you down.
I turned another year older today!
Meanwhile, J also got me this rocking chair as birthday gift. As you may have read previously when I first shared about fixing my apartment, I said I wanted a rocking chair, and now I have one!
Thanks, J!
Sooo. 35. Should I expect midlife crisis to hit me soon? I wonder how it will manifest itself to me.
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