It has been more than a month since Metro Manila was placed under Enhanced Community Quarantine to help prevent COVID-19 from spreading further. Since then, every day has been a roller coaster of emotions for me and I found it difficult to cope at first. I am still finding it hard to cope now but at least I have gotten a little better at it.

On Thursday night of my first week back, I had a severe case of diarrhea. By 2 AM, I was feeling too weak and desperate to be on IV. In my mind, I was also freaking out because diarrhea is one of the symptoms of COVID-19. We don't have a car and because of EHQ we couldn't call a cab nor a Grab. Thank God for LGUs that work, because all it took was one phone call to our Barangay Hall for an ambulance to pick me up and bring me to the hospital. I was not exhibiting any other COVID-19 symptoms so after triage and consultation at a makeshift station just outside the Emergency Room, I was prescribed medication and sent home.

The next night, I woke up with a start at 3 AM, gasping for breath. My chest felt too heavy and I felt like I had to consciously remind myself to breathe each time. I didn't sleep a wink after that, and when morning came I went out to the garden for fresh air and a little sunshine.

I called the ER and spoke with the same nurse who assisted me the night before. Again, I didn't have fever nor sore throat nor cough. He confirmed what I already knew, that it could be GERD triggered by anxiety. I spiraled because I was too anxious about getting sick that I ended up sick.

What's astounding is that when I posted about it, I got a lot of messages from several of my friends who felt the same symptoms. Read more about how COVID-19 is affecting our mental health here.

When panic and anxiety strike, these are the things that have helped me that I wish can do the same for you:

◕ Look at plants.


I read somewhere long ago that looking at something green brings an instant calming effect. The morning after I thought I was dying because I couldn't breathe, I stepped out when the sun rose and did a couple of breathing exercises while surrounded by my Mother's and Grandma's plants and I felt a lot better.

◕ Eat fresh fruits and vegetables.

If you are able to, I hope you can support and patronize our local farmers, especially in this pandemic. I ordered these fruits and veggies from Session Groceries, and I couldn't be happier with the bounty I got. Their app is so easy to use and ordering is a breeze, too. Download it via Google Play or the App Store.

◕ Try something new. 

I have always said that I am happiest when I make. I am a serial hobbyist and was expecting to work with arts and crafts with all my materials here and the free time I got due to not needing to commute to and from work. However, all the watercolor paints, stamps, makeup, and books I brought home have been set aside in favor of Tasty and Sally's Baking Addiction. My weekends are spent in the kitchen and I am loving learning to cook and bake for my family.

Banana Fritters topped with powdered sugar and blueberry preserves *chef's kiss*

Peanut Butter Chocolate Cookies *chef's kiss*

Lemon Roasted Chicken and Potatoes *chef's kiss*

Cheesy Baked Mussels *chef's kiss*

I followed my Banana Bread recipe for this and topped it with Kellogg's Mueslix Harvest Fruit for added texture *CHEF'S KISS VERY MUCH* This was a hit and I am making more this weekend!

I enjoy baking and cooking immensely and I am also glad because my kitchenventures brought me and my family closer from all the bonding we have been doing in the kitchen and dining area. It's wild that at 34 I didn't even know before some stories they told! I'm close to my family and all but ever since I moved out, I had been missing out on things. I guess getting to this age also lets me view my family in a different light and I appreciate them more now.

My aunt Jean and her husband are also here because the hotels they're working in abroad shut down temporarily due to the Coronavirus, and every day feels like family day. I consider myself extremely lucky that I was able to go home when I did. I would've either gone crazy because of loneliness if I stayed in the place I'm renting in Makati or starved because I am not allowed to have cooking equipment there, or both.

The electric oven is truly one of the best Christmas gifts I have ever purchased. Thanks for splitting the cost with me, J!

◕ Talk to family and loved ones. 

In addition to my point above, it also helps to not feel isolated. I am an extrovert and I thrive on conversations, and now that I can't talk to my friends and workmates in person, we're getting by on chats and video calls.

I miss my boyfriend J so much, though.

I'm not sure if Lily still remembers me, heh.

At this rate, I don't know when I can see or hug him again, but I am looking forward to that post-pandemic first kiss.

◕ This podcast: Nothing much happens; bedtime stories to help you sleep. Whenever I can't sleep, this podcast envelopes me like a lullaby and sends me to Dreamland five minutes into one story. It's that comforting.

◕ Take care of something else. 

One way to get your mind off things is by taking care of something else. On my birthday, a stray cat that my family has been feeding gave birth to four kittens in our backyard.


Sadly, one of them has since perished, but the other three are looking better. I bought cat food for Mama Cat so she can stay healthy and feed her kittens. I really want to keep the black kitten but my siblings are allergic, so the best I can do is just make sure they are fed.

There is nothing normal about the situation we are in, but against all odds it seems I have settled into a routine that works for me. I wake up at 6 AM regardless if it's a work day or not, prepare for our 9 AM agency-wide town call, eat three meals and merienda every day, log out after eight hours of working unless there are deadlines that need my attention, and get to bed by 10 PM. Sometimes, like tonight, falling asleep gets challenging, so the podcast I cited above is very helpful.

I am scared but I do not want to feed the fear. It's the uncertainty, it's the not knowing. Tomorrow is not promised.  But what we can do, if we are privileged to do so, is stay home, wash our hands, and help out in any way we can.

Take care. I'll see you when I see you. ❤

Read more tips on how to cope with COVID-19 from Dr. Trina de la Llana, a Filipina psychiatrist, in this FlipScience article.

Another year older.

Today I celebrated my 34th birthday without much fanfare. It is far from what I was accustomed to since I am used to month-long celebrations, but it doesn't mean I enjoyed it any less. I spent the day at home with my family, bonding over good food and great stories.

We couldn't be together because of the extreme enhanced community quarantine, but my boyfriend J sent over a huge Mango Caramel Cake. It was perfect and delicious, and I wish I can send all of you a slice each.

Because the cake was a surprise, I ordered two chocolate cakes myself from Mina's aunt.

My Mama and brother who are chocoholics gave these two thumbs up, and that is all you have to know to see that these chocolate cakes are amazingly yummy. Get them for your birthday, or any occasion really. Make every day a Cake Day, I say. Let me know if you need Tita's contact information in case you want to order!

I got so many messages on all my social media channels greeting me and even though I haven't been able to answer yet, I got to read each one. It's so heartwarming, thinking that people took a few seconds out of their time to send me a sweet note, and carry a conversation even. 

After dinner I also donated money to my friends' fund raising drive F.L.A.T.ten the Curve. If you are able, I hope you can donate as well so we can give assistance to our kababayans who can't go out and sustain their livelihood because of the quarantine. Thank you for your consideration.

My heart is full.

I don't have any birthday wishes for myself except good health for my family and loved ones, and for COVID-19 to be completely eradicated within the next month.

Thank you. I am keeping you in my thoughts, friends.

I am turning 34 tomorrow in a couple of hours! Because of the enhanced community quarantine my original plans of spending my birthday weekend in Palawan to watch Survivor shoot in real life have been foregone and instead I will be holed up here at home with my family. Also ever since J and I became a couple, this is the first time we won't spend my birthday together, so you can just imagine how sad I am feeling right now.

At least there will be cakes. 

Exactly a year ago today, we flew to Singapore to spend a week there with my sunshine and serenade-in-a-box and good friend Ed. We already visited the tourist spots with our other friends Ronnie, Kayle, and JV back in 2017, so last year's trip was more relaxed and spontaneous. 

I realize I haven't really blogged about last year's trip, so for the anniversary of our April 5, 2019 flight, I am doing it now. Hee. I actually got a Photobook of my favorite photos from that trip, so why don't we walk down Singapore memory lane right now?

♡

Stuffed Photo on the right is of myself at my birthday dimsum buffet

ONE OF THE BEST PARTS OF OUR TRIP WAS OUR DAY AT THE ADVENTURE COVE WATERPARK!! Best decision we made was to forego Universal Studios since we already went there last time and opt for the less crowded waterpark. We went snorkelling at the Rainbow Reef and even though I almost drowned at first because I am not used to breathing using my mouth, it's one of my best memories from 2019, or even this lifetime. I loved this experience SO MUCH. My only regret was getting there after lunch and not maximizing the time we could have had inside the park, especially when the rides were shut down temporarily because of the rain.

More pasyal on my birthday Yep, the pages are not arranged chronologically

We also took the time to meet my friends Lauren and Nashe + husband there!

This trip wouldn't have been as fun and special if it weren't for these people: Ed, J, Ryan, Liz, Chyno, and Rory

We look cute together ♡

( ˘ ³˘)♥

I am so happy I will always have this Photobook to hold our Singapura Eleganza memories

My 33rd birthday belongs in my top tier of birthday celebrations, up there together with my 18th birthday party, my 25th birthday where Ed and our other friends set up a treasure hunt/ surprise birthday party for me, my 28th How I Met Your Mother-themed party, and my 32nd birthday where I had a weaving party with friends and J gifted me a Kindle Paperwhite.

It is not like I have been to a lot of other places, but Singapore is definitely one of my favorite places to go to, and I am longing to go back. For the food, the efficient transportation system, and the sights. Singapore is a great match for J and I, and sometimes we talk about building a life there in the future. Who knows. We'll see.

Happy almost birthday to me!

I believe in the value of celebrating even the smallest of wins, and today was a win for me! I finally got to try baking my very first banana bread, and it was a huge success with my family! 

It is moist, soft but not crumbly, and most importantly, it is delicious.

Getting ingredients is quite challenging given the enhanced community quarantine; online stores are almost always out of stock of the things I need, and delivery takes too long. I really appreciate my Papa and Mama combing the neighbourhood market in two separate occasions to look for my ingredients. 

However, some ingredients just can't be found anywhere at this time so I had to improvise, and that's why I was so worried! If there's anything I learned from my friends who know their way around the kitchen, it's that baking is a science and the ingredients should be followed to a tee. Good thing banana bread recipes are quite adaptable so I didn't mess it up. I am not being biased when I say it's one of the best banana breads I have ever tried, and if it were made by someone else I would be more than happy to pay for a loaf or two!

I combined recipes by Sally's Baking Addiction and Food. for this. I wish I took photos of the entire process, but I was too entranced to remember!

INGREDIENTS

1⁄2 cup butter, melted
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs, beaten
4 bananas, finely crushed
1 1⁄2 cups all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1⁄2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Chocolate chips and/ or unsalted nuts (optional)

DIRECTIONS

1. After removing the odd pots and pans from the oven, preheat it to 350ºF or 180ºC for 15 minutes.
2. Cream together the melted butter and brown sugar.
3. Add the eggs and bananas. Combine well.
4. Sift together the all-purpose flour, baking powder, and salt. Add to butter-brown sugar-eggs-bananas mixture. Add the vanilla extract and ground cinnamon.
5. Mix just until combined. Do not over-mix.
6. Add chocolate chips and/ or unsalted nuts, if you want. We don't have unsalted nuts but I put in a handful of chocolate chips.
7. Pour into a non-stick or greased loaf pan.

8. Bake at 350ºF or 180ºC for 55 minutes.

Working from home afforded me a little bit of extra time so I was able to dig drafts and stored photos, and I realized I haven't published my review of Ellana Minerals Lip Drunk Blush despite it being my go to-blush for a year now. I am posting quick reviews and swatches of the first five shades they released here.


Please note though that I am not sure if they are phasing these shades out as these are almost always out of stock online, but you may also check Ellana's stores when the community quarantine is lifted.

I have since bought more palettes to hold all of them, tyvm

Perfect your tipsy flush with this super-moisturizing, cocktail-inspired drunk blush. Made for lips and cheeks! This multi-stain glides on smoothly, with a soft, natural-matte finish and creamy, hydrating texture that is infused with Camellia “Tsubaki” Seed Oil. Your Lip Drunk Blush is all you need to glow on the go. You’ll notice your skin just gets better and better every day!

You only need a couple of light swipes because these are very pigmented. You may apply using clean fingers or brush. Personally I prefer using my ring finger to swipe and blend.

From left to right: Autumn Martini | Mimosa | Sangria | Strawberry Daiquiri | Pink Flamingo

See how much color one swipe can generate?

Ellana Minerals Lip Drunk Blush in Autumn Martini on my cheeks

Ellana Minerals Lip Drunk Blush in Mimosa on my cheeks

Ellana Minerals Lip Drunk Blush in Sangria on my cheeks

Ellana Minerals Lip Drunk Blush in Strawberry Daiquiri on my cheeks

Ellana Minerals Lip Drunk Blush in Pink Flamingo on my cheeks

I even used to swipe a little on my eyelids as a light shadow for a monochromatic look until I saw the note of Ellana founder/ formulator that there are pigments that may not be safe for the eye area. Eep!  So, yes, a word to the wise: the Ellana Minerals Lip Drunk Blush are only for your lips and cheeks! (You may use the Multipurpose Color Cream if you want an all-around product that you can use as eye shadow, blush, and lip color.)

At Php 449 a pop, these can be a little more costly than your average drugstore brand blush, but the quality is so much better than a drugstore brand's, and staying power is also A+++. You can get a lot of use out of one refill so your Php 449 can go a long way.

The only comment I might have is the scent. I don't mind and the scent fades after a while, but some people might find it too strong. I hope the new shades have addressed it.  

Last year I had the opportunity to customize my own Lip Drunk Blush shade and it was a lot of fun! There were plans of extending that service to the stores but I haven't seen it yet, although Ellana released four new shades, two of which I have already ordered: Peach Bellini and Espresso Martini. Give me another year and perhaps I will be able to share my review and swatches of those as well. Heh.

Did you like any of the shades I featured here? Do you have plans of trying Ellana's take on the drunk blush trend? Do you still do your makeup while working from home? Let me know in the comments!

By the way, if you did like this review and are thinking of getting your own, please use my referral link so we both get Php 100 Ellana coupon each. TYSM!

Disclosure: All products here were not sponsored. I bought them using my own money.

I am a huge 'celebrate anything and everything girl' and I always hold month-long celebrations for my birthday, but I need to keep things low-key this year because of the pandemic.

J and I were supposed to go to El Nido to watch Survivor being taped there, but obviously that is out of the question now. I am actually still at a loss on how I am going to celebrate given the limitations, but I wish I can get cakes. Yes, note the s. If worse comes to worst, at least I already have ingredients for banana bread and lasagna.

Oh man, I can't believe I am turning 34 on Monday.

Take a peep at this watercolor portrait that Ging made for me. It's so charming and I will treasure it forever!

I don't have baby photos anymore you see, since we lost our house in a big fire back in 2001. So for my one remaining childhood photo to be immortalized like this is very special, indeed.

Sometimes I still wonder if this is just an extended simulation game and someone's rolling the dice for us. I guess we'll never really know until we get to knock on the pearly gates. If such gates exist, in the first place.

My birthday wish is for this pandemic to end and for a better, more efficient, and humane Philippine government.

I am going to have a helluva birthday celebration when this is over.