Most nights I don't know anymore.

Exactly one year ago, I experienced one of the best nights of my life.

My dream of seeing and hearing Nate Ruess perform live came true. 

I remember how ecstatic I felt when my friend Niche broke the good news to me. I just came back from a work trip in Boracay then and all my exhaustion went away. I had to save up for my ticket (nothing less than VIP, of course) and spent the following months jittery and mildly panicky. I literally had no chill. I miss being this excited for something.

My boyfriend and I were broken up at the time so I bought the tickets not knowing who I will watch the show with. All's well that ends well though because we got back together. ♥ I really couldn't imagine watching the concert with anyone but him.

So, a year has passed since that monumental night. I guess it's a good time as any to reflect on the things that have changed since then? 

I'm terribly sad to be admitting this, but I have become more disillusioned. I know and I acknowledge that life is not fair and we're all going to die anyway, but the amount of injustice happening around me makes me feel so helpless. I refuse to be bitter and consumed by despair, but some days make it harder to do so.

On a lighter note, I'm more comfortable when it comes to presenting myself to people. I still get shy sometimes most of the time, but PR has no place for people who prefer blending in the background. Pro tip: Remember that everything starts with a smile, and there's nothing that a few seconds of pep talk can't help. 

Let me know if it has something to do with age, but I realized I have become less tolerant of bullsh*t, flakers, and people who have no or low regard for other people's time. I'd rather dedicate more of my non-renewable resources to those who value these things.

The quest for learning never stops, but time is always my greatest enemy. I need to learn how to manage my time better. 

I'm still learning to bite my tongue when the temptation to lash out comes. I have learned to choose my battles but sometimes it's so challenging to just grin and bear it, especially when you know you have the perfect retort.

Lastly, one of the most important changes I've applied, maybe, is not forgetting sunscreen every day. We can't stop growing old, but at least we can help minimize the effects of aging.

I don't know if Nate will ever come back to Manila, or release a new song for that matter, but if news breaks that he has a new single out then I assure you I'll be the first one to purchase it from iTunes. God I still wish I have a physical copy of Grand Romantic.