Loveless. Childless. Clueless.

It's past midnight on a Sunday. I should be getting some sleep and recharging for the coming week [that looks like it's going to be long and tiring] but instead I'm here, drowning in a pool of my own tears and trying to make sense with the words I'm typing.

I blame Miren B. Flores.

I've been wanting to get myself a copy of her Loveless. Childless. Clueless. but it wasn't available at the recent April Feels' Day. Now I am on a self-imposed book-buying ban [that will supposedly be lifted once I finish everything in my to-read pile but who am I kidding] but I saw the ebook on Amazon and one thing led to 1-Click and before I knew it...

Standing amidst the wreckage of a fifteen-year relationship, Anna finds herself single, unmarried, childless and, at the rickety age of thirty-five, trying desperately to pick up the pieces. 

There’s a lot of crying and punching, a trip or two, and a list of things to do and be to get her self back. There’s the heady scent of a (possible) spankin’ new man sparring with the memory of the boy who first captured her heart—and may have stomped all over it. 

But what would she know? After all, here she is—loveless, childless, and totally, utterly clueless.

And now it feels like someone ripped my rib-cage apart, took my heart out, and squeezed all the life and breath out of it, and I am left a whimpering adult who couldn't even muster enough discipline to follow through a self-imposed book-buying ban.

If no book has ever made you cry before then I suggest you pick this book up and feel feelings. It doesn't even matter if the main character in the story is 35 years old. Whatever your age, heartbreak is a universal feeling.

Whoever has gone through a breakup or a case of unrequited love will definitely relate to this book. Actually, even those who have never gone through the ugly mess breakups can be will feel like it because Miren describes everything so well. I am currently in a happy relationship but it forced me to dig deep and remember the miserable state I was in.

One of my favorite, most personal blog posts, I wrote when I was going through breakup hell.

I went through the whole hoopla: I cut my hair, I lost friends, I lost stuff he borrowed that I never got the chance to ask for back, I lost plans and dreams. There were ghosts, there were scars. But most importantly, there was a choice. There was hope. Hope that someday these things that hurt will hurt no more, and all will be a faint and distant memory.

It's all a faint a distant memory now, and as cliché as it sounds, I'm glad it happened.

"I think the best and worst part of any relationship is the history—you can never have a clean slate. There's no such thing. So you go on as best as you can—both of you. And sometimes, you'll do it right. Sometimes you'll screw up. You'll forget to love, you'll lost the love, you'll hate the love. But always, you will love."

Because, as a wise man on TV once said, "love is the best thing we do." ♥