Be still, my heart.

I was on sick leave from work today because I needed to go to the doctor.

Towards the end of December last year, I started having this condition wherein my heart seems to suddenly stop and then beats again, hard. It's like it skips a beat and then makes up for it after. It would go away after a couple of hours so I didn't think anything of it and just chalked it down to holiday stress, but it came back and for the past two weeks it started occurring more frequently. Google search results say it's normal and should go away on its own, all I have to do is stop smoking — but I don't smoke and no one in our household does.

I knew I should have it checked but I'm scared I might find out I have a horrible sickness or something so I delayed it as much as I could. But yesterday it went on from morning until I got home at night and I knew I couldn't delay it anymore, thus my absence from work today.

After more than two hours of waiting in The Medical City, it was finally my turn. The doctor found nothing out of the ordinary on routine check-up so she prescribed that I undergo CBC, ECG, and Thyroid Function.

Jasmini kept me company. She was a real trooper and didn't flinch at all when the nurse took a blood sample and when I had the ECG.

It was scary for me because it was the first time I've had to undergo tests like the ECG and Thyroid Function. Even though I've had operations before (a cyst was removed from my left ankle and I had my two impacted wisdom teeth extracted) I've actually never been confined in a hospital. I am underweight but I consider myself fairly okay as far as health is concerned, but that wasn't the case today. My medical bills for those lab tests alone amounted to more than P4,000 so I am grateful it was covered by our company health card. The results will be ready after five working days, and then I need to have the results interpreted by the doctor again.

Please pray with me that it's nothing serious.

In the meantime I am no longer allowed to drink coffee and tea. It's a big sacrifice that I'm willing to take if it would mean my heart would go back to beating normally and there would be no ailments to worry about. I am no longer allowed to eat chocolates. I'm not that big of a choco-holic but I would crave from time to time, but I would gladly say goodbye to it if it would mean I would live a longer life and be able to see more movies, read more books, spend more time with my loved ones —

... and have more fun days like the one I had the other day.

You don't know how scared I am right now. I am a chronic worrier and I feel anxious over the littlest things, but I know I should stop stressing myself too much.

Health is wealth. Take care of your hearts. Literally.