Oh well.

In less than an hour I will turn another year older, and up until earlier today I honestly didn't know what  to feel about it. If you may have noticed, except for a single post saying watching The Script is a great welcome to my birthmonth, I didn't spend weeks badgering the world wide web about how it's almost April and everyone should celebrate with me blah blah blah unlike the last couple of years. 

I don't know, maybe because aside from hearing news about a famous person dying (RIP Roger Ebert, you and your brilliant movie reviews will be missed), nothing reminds us of our own mortality than our birthdays.

At 27 years old, have I accomplished something I would really be proud of? I was a great student when I was still studying; I collected lots of medals and brought honor to my family and my school/ university when I participated in several conferences and youth camps in and even out of the country. I had a great and high-paying job but took the leap to pursue a job with less pay but more suited for me, my interests, and my skills. I have loved and given almost all of me in relationships but after my last crash and burn I haven't had the heart (and will) to love again. It's not like I haven't been trying, though. I guess I haven't just met him yet. At 27, I don't have a property under my own name yet or even big savings to speak of. It's like I reached my peak in college, then I just stopped being great at life since. Everything's uncertain and life is one big bleak whatever to me. I still have dreams, but right now they're very vague... I mean, I know I still want my own bookshop, but I honestly don't know how I am going to make that happen. I worry about a lot of things but no one knows it because I am always smiling and beaming with cheeriness.

I have to quit this, this is getting too depressing.

Would you like to know what I want?

I just want to be loved.

When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amoré.
A photo of the Makati skyline I took from the 53rd floor earlier.

I miss feeling a different rush when I see that special someone. I miss being looked at like I'm the only woman in the world. I miss having an instant date to the movies. I miss holding hands. In the words of Audrey Hepburn, "I was born with an enormous need for affection and a terrible need to give it." There's a spot in my heart that's waiting to be filled, and I just know that when it does happen it's going to be amazing.

I know it's something that can't be forced, so until then I know I will still be waiting. I've been waiting for so long, Universe, so he'd better be worth the wait.

So yeah, goodbye 26 years old Krissy. It's been nice being you. I'm almost ready to slip into 27 years old Krissy, and I definitely hope she would be wiser and stronger this time, and not give in to these sad thoughts too often.

Oh well.

"I was put on this earth to accomplish a lot of things.

Right now I'm so far behind I will never die."

- source