I've always been skinny.
I did have chubby cheeks when I was a toddler, but I don't have any photos to prove them (we lost our house and all our belongings in a big fire ten years ago). My parents made sure I was always well-fed, and I even had cutesy plates and cutlery sets to make eating more fun. It all changed the moment I learned how to shake my head and refuse food. Let me be clear though, I don't mean it in an I-refuse-to-eat-because-I-don't-want-to-get-fat way, but more in the lines of I-refuse-to-eat-because-I'm-too-busy-playing-with-my-Barbies-and-reading-fairy tales way. I don't know, but my young and curious mind always questioned the logic of eating when we'll just get hungry again anyway.
My elementary and high school days were spent being the butt of jokes (that weren't even funny to begin with) because of my weight. I was so skinny and light that I was an easy target for people who thought they could just push me around. Because of that I was able to practice my wit by coming up with clever comebacks. If that doesn't work, well my Mama was always available to pay a visit to the principal's office LOL. A friend of my mother told me before that I would gain weight when I get to adolescence. Well, I've been getting regular monthly visits from Aunt Flo for the last thirteen years but I still have yet to see any significant change.
In college, the jokes lessened but every once in a while I would still get some thinly-veiled nasty remarks about alleged eating disorders and what-nots. Commuting to and from school coupled with the stress of schoolwork made it hard for me to gain any more weight. Would you believe I was only 80lbs back in college?
When I started working, things began to change a bit. Guess what, I started tipping the scales at 86lbs! Amazing, right? Meh. Wrong answer. Please try again tomorrow.
All I want is to not be underweight anymore! The funny thing is, I EAT A LOT. My friends can attest to this. I can scarf down a lot of food in one sitting that even they wonder where I manage to put everything. It's just that it's hard for me to gain weight, yet very easy for me to lose it. Some people have even said they're jealous of me because I can eat anything I want without worrying about the calories. Personally, I think it is both a blessing and a curse. A curse because, honestly, I would really love some additional curves so that my dream of looking ultra-fabulous in an Herve Leger-inspired body-con dress would come true.
A couple of months ago I started going to our office gym for a weight-gain program. It was great! Our gym instructor advised me to do just 5 minutes each of three different kinds of cardio, and then 30 reps each of five different ways of weight-lifting. I loved it! I loved the pretty flush on my cheeks after, the rush it gave me, and how energized I felt! It's amazing how much at least an hour at the gym can do to you! Most of all, I loved how it made me feel about my body. I started being more conscious of my health, and made sure I load up on nutrients. The best thing about it is that I would feel extra-famished after, so I get to eat more! It was a moment of pure bliss when I stepped on the digital scales and it read 96lbs! I was so happy I wanted to cry haha! Too bad I am not able to go as much I wanted to because of other things, but I know I must make this a priority.
Anyway, do you want to see the results? Here you go:
Same dress, worn almost two years apart. Apart from the shoes, much better camera resolution and much MUCH better hair, what else did you notice? Whereas I had knobby knees and arms that looked like they were about to break before, I now have a more rounded figure, more toned arms, and sexier hips :))
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| January 2010 |
And this is me now:
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| November 2011 |
I'm happy about this change, but I need MORE. I am still underweight, and I know if I want to continue on sprinting onto the right and healthy path, I need to do more. Good thing something new came around for me, and I am going to share it with you guys tomorrow ;) Watch out for it!
PS: Please don't get me started on the "Real Women Have Curves" debate. I get that those who scream this as a battle-cry yet belittle anyone who don't look like them (as if all of us purge out everything we put in) want to show appreciation for different body types. But please, don't paint every skinny girl with the same brush; not all of us have eating disorders. Wake up and smell the hot chocolate, skinny IS a body type. I am a woman, and I don't think lacking an extra-curvy shape makes me less so.
This is a great read!
ReplyDeleteI think you should consider putting a "featured posts" widget for timeless blog entries like this so more people can read it.
I've been skinny and I've been overweight (we're about the same height, I think, and 130lbs is overweight for us). You know, I got WAAAY much more flak when I was skinny compared to when I was overweight. People seem to think that they can bash on us skinny ones more because they think it's more accepted. People are actually more sensitive in bashing on overweight people. And THAT is based on experience.
Now, I'm starting to lose weight again. I hope it won't drop to 89 lbs.--that's my record lowest.