Angel watching over me.

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Today is my sister Kimberly's 15th birthday, only instead of celebrating it with us, she is in Heaven - playing with angels.

It was 1996 and I was ten. I already have a five-year old brother, Ken, but found myself wishing for a baby sister I can play dolls with. I was ecstatic when I heard the news that my dear Mama was expecting, even more so when we found out it was a girl. I accompanied my parents in shopping for teeny baby clothes and toys, and excitedly daydreamed about all the times we will spend playing with Barbies.

Sadly, it was not to be. There were complications on Mama's pregnancy, and Kim had to be delivered prematurely and needed to be incubated. My Mama was confined in the hospital for almost a month, but my brother and I weren't allowed to visit and only got updates from Papa.

I was watching TV gag show Bubble Gang when my Papa told us Kim didn't make it. She only lived for eight days, and I didn't even see her alive. At ten years old, my young heart knew grief and loss.

I can still remember seeing her in her white casket, surrounded with flowers and lying there just like a sleeping doll.

My family had a mini celebration here at home to celebrate her birthday complete with pancit, crispy pata, and even a chocolate cake. We also visited her at the cemetery where we offered flowers, lit candles, and said our prayers. It has been 15 years since we lost her - I didn't even spend any moment with her - but I still miss her dearly and wonder how our lives could have been with her around. Would she be shy or outgoing? Would she be into sports? Would she like K-Pop? Would she have a boyfriend by now, and would I be a strict older sister? Would she be strict to our youngest sister Kyla?

I wonder what it's like to have a 15-year old sister to watch over? Kyla is 11 years old now (and she will turn 12 next week, so that's another birthday to celebrate!) so I should know in a few more years.

For the meantime, I just want to ask Kim to continue watching over us. We love you, Kim, and we will never forget.