Dear You

They've always said that all good things must come to an end.

It was a long time coming, with both of us seeming to elude this dark cloud over us. Whilst it did not end the way I wanted it to, I can say I am still glad we had this talk.

Now I feel very much like Tom Hansen of (500) Days of Summer. I'm Tom, you're Summer. I should have taken it as a sign when you didn't want to watch it even after I exclaimed my high praises for the movie. We even had a little fight over it, remember? But I was blind. I was blind to a lot of things. I guess we're all like that when we fall in love. We forget all reason; rational thought ceases to exist.

I must say though that you really made me happy. There are a lot of things I am thankful for, and I want to enumerate some of them here. Thank you for the Choco Cherry Torte cake we shared today, now my birthday is already complete. Thank you for buying that Kikomachine Komix number 5 for me after I've looked high and low for it. Thank you for that Owl City CD. Thank you for the Wizard plushies. Thank you for Kriket the starfish plushie. Thank you for replacing one of my bichir fishes with a new one when the one I named Aziraphale jumped out of the aquarium and died. Thank you for the white bag. Thank you for buying choco chip cookies for me every breaktime. Aside from the material things though, it's the special moments we had together that I would really hold dear. Thank you for that special date in Manila Ocean Park. Thank you for coming with me and my family to Enchanted Kingdom. Thank you for coming with me when I bought my netbook, my digicam, and my DVD player. Thank you for the memories of the David Cook/ Archuleta concert. Thank you for the gazillion text messages. Thank you for the lunchtime walks and chocolate ice cream cones. Thank you for the movies and for the DVD afternoons. Thank you for the hugs, thank you for the kisses. I really loved you and I am happy that you loved me too.

No one is closing any doors, as you said. I don't know if that's just twisted words meant to console me or not. You said that you need to be alone for now, and I respect that. I would not want to force or impose myself on anyone, as I've always told you. What I want: I want to want someone who wants me.. Someone who will let go of all inhibitions, someone who would be willing to face all fears and just want to be with me, someone who will be proud to have me, someone who knows it will be hard, but it will be okay because we will be together. At this moment - and thank you for admitting it - you can't be that someone. I hope someday, if not for me, you will be that someone for somebody else. And I hope when that time comes, I will be happy for you. I must say that this is one of the bravest things I have done. I guess I just have to get strength from the knowledge that someday, all of this will make sense.

Now let me crawl under my pillows and cry my heartbreak away so I can face you in the office tomorrow with my bright, unaffected smile.