In which I share a poem that I have written seven years ago

Remember when I told you here that I might be able to share with you guys stuff I have written from years back? Well, that  time has come :D

I was at my parents’ house on my rest day when I decided to go through my old stuff and, you know, walk down memory lane for a bit. I was looking through the pile of notebooks and journals I have collected from the last eight years (our house burned down on 2001 so I started my collection from scratch again) when I saw this yellow notebook.

An old notebook, as in really OLD

This is actually an ordinary notebook that I have personalized by removing the spring binding and sewing the pages together, and then covering it with yellow paper (because yellow used to be my favorite color. I even had yellow_sunshine19@yahoo.com as my email address. I know, right?) and plastic. I also wrote my name on a cut-out sheet of fancy stationery which I glued on the front cover and even put a Tweety sticker for good measure (because in my highschool days, nothing says Kristel like a Tweety insignia lol).

I made this when I was in second year high school; I was fourteen years old that time. And no I did not have a boyfriend, but I seriously believed I was madly, head-over-heels, the-world-has-stopped-turning, desperately in love with a guy I have had a crush on since I was in grade four (ten years old). I even cried when I learned the next year that he has transferred to another region and will not study in our school anymore. It is kinda pathetic when I look back on it now, but forgive my young heart back then for thinking he was the greatest love of my life.

But that’s beside the point. The point is this yellow notebook contains valuable memories of my teenage years. I have written lots of songs on it that I have liked since I was young, songs that have just been released then, and songs that I have considered as included in the OST of my life. It includes songs such as Stay (by Lisa Loeb), Turn the Clock Around (by Mandy Moore), Sukiyaki (by 4PM), Lost in Space (by Lighthouse Family) and Until the Time is Through (by 5ive). Not only that, it contains poems I have written in high school. I admit I am not the best poet, but that time, I thought I was the best there ever was since I was the only one amongst my classmates who can write a string of words which rhyme at the end of each line :D And mind you, these songs and poems are not written directly on the paper. I wrote them first on fancy papers and stationery, cut them out, and then paste them to the pages. I thought it was the most artistic thing to do at the time. Now that I look back though, I can only smile at how naïve – but cute lol - I sounded :D

This is a copy of the song With a Smile by Eraserheads

Would you want to read one of the poems I have written? I guess you don’t have a choice anyway because I am presenting it to you now haha! This one I wrote on June 2, 2002 (I can’t believe it has already been that long). I just took a pen and paper, and then the words just flowed through me. I cannot explain it, it was almost like the pen has a mind of its own. I miss that feeling, the feeling of transforming thoughts to ink. I do that now as well, the only difference is that instead of ink, my thoughts become transformed to pixels :D

Back to the poem, I want to share this to you guys. Tell me what you think about it, and then tell me whether you have or you know someone who has already experienced it before. Keep in mind though that it is neither Neruda nor Keats. This bunch of lines attempting to rhyme was written by my fourteen-year old self, so please be kind :D

I never realized it would be over too fast

I always thought our love would last

It seemed we turned our backs from the past

Now it felt as if we’re worlds apart.

It all started one fine morning

I woke up suddenly losing the feeling

When I saw him, there is a nagging

Telling me he also felt nothing.

I know he felt the same way too

So I called to say we’re through

It is time to call it quits

But our memories will be for keeps.

The line was busy

Suddenly I felt guilty

So I put the phone down

But then it rang.

I picked it up on the second ring

Asking the other person, “Who’s calling?”

A deep voice answered, “Hey, ‘tis me,

We loved each other, but now we have to be free.”

I said, “Okay fine, I loved you too,

But you have to find the better one for you.”

I know we were breaking up

But surprise, surprise, I felt no pain inside.

And so it happened

We promised we’d be friends

But promises, in time, were bent

Our friendship also ended.

It’s because of a girl he met

Upon her, his gaze was always set

She prohibited him from seeing me

Fine with me, so long as he’s happy.

So we went with our own lives

Absorbing the sights and the sounds

Until I was haunted with sleepless nights

Can’t truly forget him, try as I might.

I realized I love him still

But he doesn’t know what I feel

We’re through, these feelings I must kill

But I can’t seem to find the will.

Until one morning, I saw him by my door

He is waiting with presents from the store

If only he knew how he made my heart soar

That day, a new love was born.

He said, “For a while, I’ve been blind

But I can’t seem to get you off my mind

I realized I’m not really strong

I needed your love all along.”

We found ourselves in a tight embrace

No need for words, I touched his face

I thought of all the times we’ve missed

Guess what, this story ends with a kiss.

Whoah, that was long! I hope I did not bore you. Oh, want proof I wrote that? Here’s the yellowed page:

 See that?

So there, what about you, got any similar stories to share? Or any embarrassing stories to share about your first loves and puppy loves? Please do tell me about them! There is comfort in knowing I am not alone :D

PS: I just cannot think where my fourteen year old-self got the idea for this poem x_x

PPS: I am still rounding up people who might want a Christmas cheer from me! Click here!